An apology I owe

10 months, 300 or so days, around 7,200 hours, about 432,000 minutes, and maybe 25,920,000 seconds. That's how long I've known you for, and it's been a roller coaster to say the least. Somehow you managed to sum it up in about seven words within a simple facebook message, yet whenever I talk to you, my normally superior train of thought - no offense - is slowed way down, and what I was meaning to say just never got across.
I don't know why exactly I ever hurt you - you were everything I asked for, times twenty or so. I told you the things you said about me weren't true - and they weren't - but I really just liked hearing you say nice things, giving me butterflies. It was a sweet escape from the things I was going through that I hid from everyone else. For that, I should have thanked you, but instead I made a million mistakes.
You didn't deserve anything bad I ever said to you. I could almost say everything I ever said to you, considering I'm so bad with my words around you. But I am so sorry for all the times I hurt you; I would do anything to take it all back.
Can't you see how evil I can be to others? I don't deserve to even know you, let alone accept gifts and especially your notes. I still have them, by the way - I know I told you I threw them out, but that was just so you'd feel better for throwing out mine.
She told me you visited her when she was sick, and you cared for her. That killed me, but I wanted what was best for you, so I let you go ahead. After all, it was just karma.
You have been the best person I have encountered in maybe my entire life, and what have I done in return? I've treated you like shit, when really you deserved so much better. I could not be more thankful for you putting up with me through absolutely everything and laughing at my jokes, even if they're not funny.
I don't know if I ever told you how much I love your embarrassing stories, but I'm sorry mine aren't as good as yours. In fact, they should have reminded you of how stupid I was, and still am. You knew how to make me look on the bright side of things, and you respected my space.
Basically, I wanted to say sorry for everything. But more importantly I'd like to say thank you for everything you have given me.
So, thanks.