In a word, exorbitant.

Waiting for you.

Boundaries, borders, barriers.

Goodbye, April.

The honesty of my music has left me too exposed

It all comes spilling out like I hit a vein.

And I've been getting high to balance out the lows.

And if my tears hold value, I would drop one for every single thing you showed me.

And I'll be standing in a puddle.

You know I spend money because spending time is hopeless.

And know I pop bottles 'cause I bottle my emotions.

I should be on top of the world, just chillin' here.

And now security follows me everywhere so I'm never actually alone, I just always feel alone.

I think I'm scared of what the future holds.

I remember you, this feeling isn't new.

Oh, but it is. It so is.

And you have no idea how badly I want to tell you.

We'll have the days we break, and the scars to prove it

As I rest my head on my pillow,
I can hear my heartbeat
Echoing in my ears.
Maybe if I close my eyes
I can pretend it's yours,
In hopes of pulling me away
From this heartache,
Tugging, pulling, pleading for you.
Yet there's nothing I can do
Besides wait for time to pass,
Wait for the clock to change,
Watch the calendar until the page turns,
Listen for the alarm to go off,
Telling me you are here again.

Time time time. Is that what this is about?
Happy 5-month birthday, blog. (one day late)

I promise you that

We're marchin' on, we're marchin' on.

Disorganized. Apologies.

Yeah yeah yeah. You bet that was me.

Today was way too up and down for my tastes. In fact, it wasn't even up and down. It was down, down, down, down, DOWN, down, UP. Exactly like that.

But I'm hoping that means something good for tomorrow.

I think things will be alright.

The epitome of today/this week/how I feel/check all that apply, right here.

You said you loved me, and I kind of believe that. These days who knows what that means?

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground, try this trick and spin it, yeah. Your head will collapse but there's nothing in it.

And you'll ask yourself, where is my mind, where is my mind, where is my mind?

Way out in the water, see it swimmin'?

Tuesday Tellings, week 8

I think I know, but for some reason I can't say it out loud.

It's harder than it sounds. Or am I not allowed to say that because I'm technically not even saying it?

Such Great Heights - The Postal Service

Too bad I'm slightly afraid of them.

Blurbs:

Prison gates crashing,
Door into door
Until the guard finally wakes,
Seeing that his prisoners have escaped;
Running into a cloudy freedom
That even they have to discover.

Geometrical configurations
Tying into
Wicked puzzles
And riddles
It's like passing my troubles,
Once, twice, never again.

Once, twice, never again

So far I've spent my day listening to The Postal Service

because you said I'd like them.

You were right.

But whether that's because I actually do like them

or just because you like them, I'm not sure.

Stargazing in your lonely car

Everything's a blur of noise, a mixing of senses I can't configure.

One minute I'm with you, higher up than I could imagine.

And another minute I don't know where I'm going.

Where were you? Where am I?

The weather matches my mood.

Once, twice, all over again

Maybe I'm blind, maybe I'm blind
Oh I couldn't see you shine
And shimmer right in front of my eyes
Front of my eyes, oh no

I never saw light, never saw light
All I saw were faded mirrors and dim reflections but,
You shine, you shine so much brighter, oh

So honey let me sing you a song,
And listen to my words as they come out wrong, but don't
Run away, run away, this time.
And honey let me look in your eyes
You can open them one at a time, but don't
Look away, look away, this time.

Open your mind, open your mind,
To know that you don't have to hide
So please don't leave me
Don't meet me outside, leave me outside, oh no.

Oh and honey I'll try, honey I'll try to hold you
Like the starry skies, we lie beneath tonight,
Cause you shine, you shine so much brighter,
Oh oh oh oh

So honey let me sing you a song,
And listen to my words as they come out wrong, but don't
Run away, run away, this time.
And honey let me look in your eyes
You can open them one at a time, but don't
Look away, look away, no, look away, don't look away, oh

And honey let me sing you a song
And listen to my words as they, come out wrong, but don't
Run away, run away this time
And honey let me look in your eyes
You can open them one at a time, but don't
Look away, no, look away, no, look away, don't look away, oh

And don't, look away, look away this time.

Don't look away, look away, this time.

I am, you are

It never gets old. Ever.

It's like every time it's something new, tingles on my lips.

There's something about you that makes time go by crazy fast.

Faster than I want it to.
But know that I will always be there. Always.

And la da da da da da

Sometimes I need to write a whole novel.

Other times I only need a word.

Or just a picture.

A list.

A drawing.

Lyrics.

It varies from time to time.

Security

I'm just cruising along in a bike

while everyone else is racing by in cars.

http://www.formspring.me/sweetcaroline94

You shine so much brighter

I guess my brain was here:

And now it might be here:

But I'm not really sure. Do I want to be here though?

All I know is that I like being here.

Tuesday Tellings, week 7

My secret is that I think I complain too much

and don't appreciate enough.

Definition

You can't have the good without the bad. It has to come around some time, I guess.
I am unable to walk on my right leg. Ouch.

Wind.
You can taste
The speed of it as
Slanted raindrops
Divert onto your tongue,
Falling into place with
Your taste buds
As music pumps in your ears,
Somehow synonymous with
The random placement
And pattern of raindrops
On the table on your porch,
Which once used to hold
That glass of rum
You had
That summer night,
Lingering in your kisses
As your hands rested
On my waist.
Wind.
You can hear it,
See it in the secrets
Amongst the trees,
Humoring each other
With their tales.
The same trees
We sat in by moonlight,
Sharing my story
As tears rolled down
My scarred cheeks.
Wind.
You can smell it
In the cool grass,
Flattened by countless
Footsteps where we ran,
Where we sat,
Where we laughed,
Where we laid
With your arms around me
Brushing your fingers
Through my hair
Until I drifted
Off to sleep,
Waking to new rays of sun
And a walk ahead.
Wind.
You can touch it,
Feel it between
Every line on your fingertips.
Different lines
And a different feeling
For each person
Just like the feeling
Of cold,
The feeling of fear,
The feeling of accomplishment,
The feeling of security,
Loneliness, freedom,
The feeling of love.


I feel like I'm losing against gravity, just falling.



Hello cumulonimbus.

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day

Except not at all. Everything about today was great. And tomorrow is basically going to be a needed day off.

You know, you're everywhere I look, everything I see, hear, smell, touch. There isn't a five minute stretch where I'm not reminded of you.
Which is kind of distracting... but that's okay.

I also OWNED my English assignment today. I chose identity because I love philosophical stuff. Check it out:
1. Topic: Othello, Oroonoko, and Identity
2. Specific Question: How is the role of identity similar in Othello and Oroonoko?
3. Specific Answer: the role of identity is similar in Othello and Oroonoko in that throughout the novel and the play, synonymous questions arise that challenge the roles of both black men in their societies, along with multiple instances where Iago's quote "I am not what I am" comes into play, in addition to its relationship with the macro and microcosm.

YUPP. Yupp.

Sorry I don't have real writing today. I have a draft, but I want to wait until I really like it to put it up. You can wait one more day, can't you? Oh, and tomorrow I'll go back to Tuesday Tellings. I've missed those.

In short.... great day.

Feeling, reeling

This weekend went by liiiiike crayyzy fast.

Oh, you make my head spin,
But I don't want it to stop.
I've always written about this,
But I've never actually felt it.
Hours fly by
When you're here,
And seconds crawl
When you're gone.
I trace the lines on my hands
That you have touched,
Hoping it will ease my mind
That you're out there
Thinking about me too.

Why is it cold again?

Check the deuces

Going out. Update later.
P.S. I've read your list at least ten times so far.

Sheer irony

My highs and lows scare me. One moment I'm walking on sunshine, and the next I'm impatient, frustrated, and stuck in terms of where to start.

I'm exhausted, and yet I could step outside and run ten miles.

All I want to do is sleep, but all I can think of is the next time I'll see you.

Sorry I've been so busy.

Hey Now - FM Static

You know those people who just make you happy?

Yeah, well, surround yourself with those people.

Homecoming - Kanye West

(of course)
I'm home I'm home I'm home. Back to the daily grind.
It's amazing how much one little thing can turn your whole day around, you know?
New Orleans was wonderful. I wrote a poem on the last night. Here you go.

Somehow we now call this place home,
After ten sunrises and nine sunsets.
Through boarded up windows and
Peeling paint,
We create lives of the families
That once lived in 2005
Run out by a single wave
That covered the down
Destroyed the town
Broke the heart
And tore apart the town.
Piecing constellations
And configuring words within the graffiti,
We run down St. Charles
Like we own this fucking town,
Writing by starlight
And the sequenced blue flashes of police cars,
I realize this town is brought together
Not by boundaries,
But by art.
The creative voices of the people,
Black or white;
We're done with this fight
And all we have is firelight
Flickering through the crying windows
Of a burning home,
Branded by that familiar X.
9-16, 1 dog, 3 people,
And a jumble of letters
That is supposed to stand for
The people that brought us apart,
Scarring buildings
While my ears ring from
Who dat said they gon' beat the Saints?

Hello NOLA

So this is one of very few days I'll be able to get onto the computer. It's warm and green here. I love it. Every time I walk down the street I expect to turn the corner and see the ocean.
Today I worked on cleaning up a house for 5 hours. It went from an untouched shack with a jungle for a backyard to a presentable house. Then we went to an abandoned house next door that hadn't been emptied since the flood. Creepy shit.
Lots to write about, not a lot of time to write it. I'll see if I can get onto a computer later in the week.

Revelation

Well, blog and readers. I am leaving in approximately 47 minutes to go on a 28 hour train ride to spend 10 days doing service!
Part of me doesn't want to leave, which is strange. Maybe I just want your company for a little longer.
I won't be back until the 13th, and it's highly unlikely I'll be able to access this.
But I'll write a lot!

Party and bullshit

The sun was out.
The weather is warm.
The parents are gone.
The packing is finished.
And the way you asked was... masterful.

Thoughtless

An empty road.
I don't really know what to think.
But I hope tomorrow will be better.
Blahh.