You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser

Goodbye January, for you have treated me well.

With a new month comes new resolutions.
I bid thee adieu.

Haikus are funny. Here are some that I found:

Red tricycles trip.

Goofy tinkles blancmanges.

The noses giggle.

She dances lithely

Seduction under the moon

I - hey, a nickel!

You never feed me.

Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.

That will sure show you. (shoutout to Nora the Explorer)

Hot like Mexico, rejoice

I got a story, it's almost finished
All I need is someone to tell it to
Maybe that's you
Our time is borrowed and spent too freely
Every minute I have needs to be made up, but how?

I'm looking for a nice way to say I'm out
I want out

I fall asleep with my friends around me
The only place I know I feel safe
I'm gonna call this home
The open road is still miles away
Ain't nothin' serious, we still have our fun
Oh, we had it once
But windows open and close that's just how it goes

Don't it feel like sunshine after all?
The world we love forever gone
We're only just as happy as everyone else seems to think we are

I'm in love with the ordinary
I need a single space to rest my head and everything gets clear
Now I'm a little ashamed for asking
But just a little helps
It gets me straight again
Helps me get over it, over it
It might seem like a dream but it's real to me

You should see the canals are freezing
You should see me high
You should just be here, be with me here
It doesn't seem there's hope for me, I let you down
But I won't give in now not for any amount.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eV2lN68pSIc

Be who you are...?

Two posts for you today. I missed yesterday because I was sick.

I'm more of a door than a window

A delicate wind pushes strands of my hair back, an ocean spirit clearing my field of vision so I can see the water where I grew up. Hot garbage has never smelled particularly delightful until I came here. I know for a fact it wasn't just family guiding me through those years. You were there, I'm sure. Why else would I have known how to swim in six foot waves, giants back then, before I could stand on my own two feet?
It seems like only yesterday the three mile walk to the pier took an eternity, the rickety pillars never getting closer. Now I can clear the run there in twenty minutes, flying by deserted bonfires and power-walkers, leftover foam from the waves finding a home on my bronzed and calloused feet.
You have united us, you have separated us, you have treated me well and encouraged me to grow.
I will never forget the sequence 40290, the tacky memorabilia and the closet that never opened. I know exactly how many steps it is from the front door to the beach - 98, if it isn't too crowded, and if you don't run into any lizards. 5 loaves of garlic bread gone in a night, and 247 sprinkles at the ice cream parlor.
The waters - your waters - have told me it's okay to need to hold someone's hand, it's okay to swim where only your toes skim the soft ocean floor, and it's okay to fall asleep on a surfboard, where your dreams are in sync with the waves, which in turn are in sync with the moon.
There's a reason why I liked those purple shells so much, mom - but no, I still don't have a favorite color. They are rough, ridged, almost damaged on the front, white and grey stripes maybe making them look just like every other shell. The outside is worn down from countless years of sand scratching at them, wind gradually eroding their skeleton, the only thing they have known for so long. But turn them over and you plunge into another world. Infinite shades of purple blend together, every one of those shells with a distinct shade. These shells smell like salt, they smell like their home, they smell like my home; there isn't a difference. This purple acts like a magnet, relating to me in a way I can't explain.
Occassionally lines of this enchanting color will cross, or maybe the rough white and grey from the other side bleed into the back, but they're not insignificant. They're just telling a story of where they came from.
Where I came from.

What a winner

karma

kar⋅ma /ˈkɑrmə/
–noun
1. Hinduism, Buddhism. action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation: in Hinduism one of the means of reaching Brahman.
2. Theosophy. the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation.
3. fate; destiny.

Have you heard of it? Well it's great. You get what you give, right? Most people can't really wrap their heads around such a concept, but over the years I have learned and I have grown. And today was like payday.

I've doubted things in the past, but now I'm past (LOLZ) that. I don't have regrets. And speaking of no regrets, it's the 2 month birthday of this blog, and I can confidently say I have absolutely no regrets in starting it. Maybe no one reads it, but I'd like to thank them anyway.

I also realized today that I have a dangerous addiction to popcorn.

Need a break? Just stop and shake and dance, dance, dance

Today I realized I'm too busy to have guilt. Maybe most people don't like having a busy schedule, but I can't imagine myself without it. I think that's why I love New York so much. People are there for a reason. I feel bad for not giving you something to read every day, but it doesn't seem like anyone really reads this. Am I writing for an audience? I discussed this today with one of my favorite teachers, and that talk gave me a really positive outlook on pretty much everything. For that, I'd like to say thanks.
Of course, beyond this bliss is a crammed schedule with various meetings around town, deadlines to make, people to call, submissions to send in. But that's just background noise.
I haven't really had a "reflecting" entry in a long while, but since I didn't have any poems for you, I figured this would suffice.

Fun fact: I listen to 61 days of music a year.

Who cares

Tombstone

So I actually have a poem for you today. Although I don't really think it's a poem, considering it could completely be written out in paragraph form. I guess I feel bad for not really following my word, but oh well. Here goes.

Oh, this past week has been a blur,
Writing every so often just to keep my promise.
Instead of working,
I won't lie,
I was worked up over everything you've said,
Worked up over the times you have screamed at me,
Worked up over a lack of sleep,
Tossing and turning while twisted dreams
Spin tales in my head.
I was worked up over how you never return the favor,
But is it really a big deal?
In this neverending struggle,
You better believe it is.
Hold me close,
Though I'll protest,
Clawing to get away from your supposed comfort,
Deep down I think I really need it.
I just need to get out
Of this city for a while,
Step for a second into a
Beautiful new world.

Thank god my flight is booked. Friday, February 26th, 12:05 P.M.

Cross your fingers

And pray that everything is gonna be okay.
I really need to get out of here soon.

Or at least someone needs to take me away.

I've reached a breaking point.

Yesterday you gave me a hug, and I wish I could have told you how much it meant to me.

A week of work, followed by a weekend of work

Oh the joys of school.

See you soon, I guess.

It's not me, it's you

But things just get so crazy, living life gets hard to do.

This city's made us crazy and we must get out.

Every time I wind up back at your door.

I've been cryin', because things ain't how they used to be.

Little weapon, we're calling you

I know I promised writing for today, but I'm not only busy but now I'm sleep deprived. Hopefully tomorrow will be a little easier.

I am SO excited for February.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byV0GUg7w4U

Counting to 100 - Matt Wertz

You've said this word multiple times. I like it a lot.

SO. MUCH. WORK.
And now my mom is sick. Time to break out the hand sanitizer...
Hopefully I'll have something good for you tomorrow. Sorry.

Who wants to be right as rain?

Submissions, submissions, submissions.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlWyThuUWnY

Writer's block

MLK Day = good excuse to not have school day.

I came up with a new quote today.

"Maybe if you've fallen into me as blindly as I have with you, eventually we'll crash into each other."

Is that weird...? I don't know. I honestly have nothing to write for you today.

But I had a really really great day.

All I'm asking for is everything that I have given you

It's not that I want it back, I just want something in return. You only have what you give, right? Well at this point that just seems like a silly lie, and I would love for you all to realize what I need.
I'm sending in some secrets to Post Secret soon. Is it weird that I am scared?

Don't leave me alone now,
I've just gotten used to
The idea of you
Here all the time,
Your heart just big enough,
With enough room for me.
Your fingertips, so soft,
Trace journies across my face,
Provide dams for my falling tears
When all I can do is cry.
You let me wear your favorite sweater;
It somehow fits me perfectly.
And you read my work
Without judgement,
Which is all I could ask for.
Please forget my past mistakes,
That's not me anymore.
I've learned from that.
Let's just run away together.

You off the richter

Future Stars always reminds me of the lack of talent I have. But I still love it.

He said to me,
"Don't hurt your pretty little head,"
But if you only knew
It was bursting with memories
Of everything you have said,
And every time you have smiled at me.
If you only knew
It was overflowing with your laugh,
And the way your nose wrinkles.
If you only knew
Visions of your face lighting up
Are cascading over the edge
With as much grace
As your perfected words
Pieced together,
Crafted to make me smile.
You can change
My mind in a heartbeat,
And you can make my heart
Skip a beat
Any time I see you.
Somehow I know you're
Right for me,
Can't you feel it too?

Oh I hope it's not too late

I missed posting yesterday... this was one of the few times I was legitimately EXHAUSTED. I had three tests and I fell asleep reading This I Believe. So for missing yesterday I'm posting twice today.
Sorry for letting you down again.

Can't find your missing piece?

I'm so happy you want to see me :)

Today I couldn't really sit down and write, but I wrote bits and pieces of things. Oh and I figured you all would know that I couldn't update yesterday because of the most epic concert of my life.

Ooh la la, ooooh sha lala.
Mmmhm heylala, hey.

Tangled in your words,
It's absolutley absurd,
Take me where you want to be,
On your journey of self-discovery.
Sweep me off my feet,
And swear we'll never meet,
Closing this mystery,
Seal it into eternity.
I'd rather not know your name,
You wouldn't want to be lost in this fame.
Hold me close, then let me go,
I have a story you'll always know.

I never say quite what I mean, and I never mean quite what I say

Oh, but I do. Or do I?
The only thing I know is that I don't know. Family are the ones
That will stand by your side
Every second
Of every minute
Of every hour
Of every day.
But when they decide
They can't hold you up
Anymore,
That's when you fall
The farthest
And when you crash
The hardest.
So please, I beg of you,
Never leave my side,
For I need you here
More than you
Will ever know.

Miss Understood or misunderstood?

Just like a tattoo

I realized today that I can't NOT be busy. It just doesn't work.

Mondays are blah.

A little bit of everything.

Just when I thought I was being the best for you, you prove me wrong.

In most cases, that statement would be about a stupid boy that did something dumb. But it's not. It's actually a friend. Which just makes it worse.

The way you've made me fall for you
Has swept me off my feet.
Your simple texts,
Words chosen so carefully,
Your desire to make me smile,
Conquering over so many priorities,
Just makes me want to
Tell you how I really feel.
I told myself to wait,
To be patient, for someone
Better to turn up,
And I think you're that
Person I've been waiting for.

People often ask if my feet are cold, but the answer is always no.

I wish I could put my life on shuffle,
So I would never know
What was coming next.
One unexpected adventure
After another,
Simply changing at the press of a button.
From love lullabies
Cooing us to reassurance,
To angry but clever rhymes,
The only thing keeping me from
Breaking that door again.
Sometimes I don't want to know
What happens next.
I'd rather open my eyes to something new.

Wordplay:
Somehow we slip through
Seemingly surreptitious
Passages, plowing past piles of
Touseled tracks, torn together
By tons of tumbling twigs.

I don't really know why I included that wordplay thing. I just liked the contradiction of "torn together."

It only matters how big your heart is.

Tell me what you know 'bout dreamin

Happy birthday to my best friend in the whole world. I love you so much!

You keep the air in my lungs

I really really don't like this poem. Just a heads up.

Please don't be oblivious.
Don't pretend like
You don't realize
You're on my mind all the time
Instead let me lead you,
Let me trust you,
And give you the best thing I have.
But you have to make
Just one promise;
That you won't run
And ruin anything we already have,
Because maybe I
Have already given you
The best thing I have.

I wish I could tell you how frustrated I am that you didn't say something before.

Walk me down Boyce Avenue

Literal Translations

Like the flame crawls down the match,
Long after the candle is lit,
It changes shape,
Blue flecks tickling towards you
A tease of heat approaching
Your victim skin.
A reflection dances in your eyes,
Playing a silly game
To see how close the
Flame can get
Before blackening your fingertips.

I really think I need to start concentrating more.

Say the word and we'll go

Three different poems for my third day back.

Slip into this dreamy depth of darkness with me,
Close your eyes and say you're mine,
But don't be afraid
To yell out loud,
Letting go of regrets
And dropping grudges.
Imagination intellectually disintegrates into oblivion,
Vowels repeat themselves
Like a fucking metronome, ya know?
It's that ticking
Clicking
Sound that sticks in your head
Like a stupid song
Telling a story of nonsense
That even the writer don't know.

Alliteration always accurately accentuates the mood. Unless it's assonance. Then vowels visually enhance every single simple tedious thing.
Silently we stalk seemingly stupid secret
Lovers, longingly leaning into each other, a
Purposely passionate kiss places on her plump lips, a
Barely audible breath
Escapes her ever so delicate
Mouth as he manipulates
Her thoughts, shaping words and sculpting visions of their future together, and the alliteration ends.

Hello beautiful day,
Please come and save me
From this dreary mess
You call heartbreak.
You have
Imprisoned me for too long,
Behind bars
Covered in fingerprints of my dreams.
Kiss me and release my fears.
I truly believe you are the only one that can save me.
Take that key I know you have
And make simple turn
That will change both of
Us.
C'mon and take my hand,
Bring me to where you know
I can fly
And you can fly with me.

Freedom. Maybe that's what I want.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU-ZQWZSGfc

Something you got is makin' me crazy

I'M GOING TO THE LADY GAGA CONCERT.

Today I bought a $40 Andy Warhol book.

Tomorrow I'll give you guys some real writing.

Vanilla kinda day

Separate thought: idol of the month - Andy Warhol.

Snippets, tidbits, threads of information

Ahh I looked at the clock at 11:59 p.m. last night, and I was upstairs, all too aware that it was too late to post yesterday. So I sincerely apologize.
I'm incredibly happy right now, but my writing is completely scatter-brained. Hence the title.

Tell me what you meant to say,
And why you didn't say it before,
Why I had to threaten to leave
So you would apologize,
But I can tell when you don't mean it.
Just face it;
You can't tear down my wall
I once offered to destroy for you.

Like I said, I'm really happy, so I don't know where that came from...

Everything's a frightening blur.
Sounds fading,
Birds escaping,
Sand falling
Through your clenched hands.
Waves wash over your
Footsteps
You run into a foggy
Oblivion
That traces your intentions like a
Needle
Cutting through flesh,
Tattooing
Virgin skin, uninked and
Innocent
Like my heart, left and
Broken
By so many, reading the
Signs
Wrong, getting off on the
Subway
Stop before your real
Destination
Forcing yourself to
Catch
Some fresh air, breathing in
Purity
Like a new life, reborn and clean,
Flawless
In a perfectly imperfect world,
Killing
The sky above us.
Releasing
Doves from your calloused hands while
Music
Rings in your ears, but
Somehow
I am still
Trapped
While you can run
Free.
...................................what have I done to myself?
Please break free and come and save me.

Slam the door
Locks clicking
Clocks ticking
Perfectly imperfect
You stand in front of me
Expecting nothing
Anticipating everything
Antonyms
Synonyms
And oxymorons
Clash, bash
Thrown out like trash
Gibberish and words
Stumbled together
Tumble off my tongue
Before I can take them back.

Unrestricted

What an awkwardly fabulous New Years.......
And guess what I'm doing tonight? Hanging out with winter camp people. Again.
But I won't be back until "tomorrow," so I thought I'd stop in and write something. I don't have anything fresh and innovative to share, but I'm just keeping my promise.

I think I'm in love with you.