Today I also went for a little walk. Not a long one, maybe about ten minutes. My mind was kind of jambled and jumping around. So instead of a poem, I have a rant.
I have sat across the street my whole life, watching the paint on your door shift from brown, to black, to that hideous blue you tried once, only to change it to green. All my life I have watched and yet you have maintained your anonymity, never once stepping outside at a chance to run into me. I have seen your cat, thoug. He hides and will stick his head out of the window just enough so that the street lights give his eyes an eerie glow, only intriguing me more. I have sat and watched your grass grow and grow and grow, but never have I heard the lawnmower, yet your yard is freshly cut by sunrise.I am just that girl walking by every two weeks or so, carrying a strange assortment of things, while the words on the back of my coat expose those years of lies. Sure, I've got scars and fresh blood trailing down my leg, but it's nothing compared to those wounds I had just months before.
Sure, your voice has been raised and it has sent my blood pumping, afraid to hear those shattering glasses as I turn away, avoiding the shards that fly. Yes, you have yelled and yelled until I thought your lungs would give out, but in the end my words beat yours, staying calm until the real war breaks out. I am stronger than this, I can toss you aside, no more lingering handicap and dragging at my ankles until you leave finger-shaped bruises.
Sure, your voice has been raised and it has sent my blood pumping, afraid to hear those shattering glasses as I turn away, avoiding the shards that fly. Yes, you have yelled and yelled until I thought your lungs would give out, but in the end my words beat yours, staying calm until the real war breaks out. I am stronger than this, I can toss you aside, no more lingering handicap and dragging at my ankles until you leave finger-shaped bruises.
Because you were then, a stupid watch on my wrist, ticking and ticking until I finally give in and look.
But I am now, this is now, and this is where I am staying.
Something has changed this girl, there's a new bounce in her step and a smile waiting in line behind every frown. Suddenly it does not matter how long she has been waiting, because it is finally here.
My secret: I take almost everything people say seriously. Unless I really, really know them. It makes me vulnerable.
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