Separation, liminal space

Today, I was exhausted. So, naturally, after finishing failing my Spanish test, I wrote.

Slipping in and out
Of consciousness
Like a wounded soldier,
Stranded in the
Battlefield.
Eyes struggle to stay open,
Falling walls as they are hit with bombs,
Never to return
To solidity again.
Into this dreaming state
We stumble
Slowly, like falling,
Uncontrollable yet avoidable.
Imagination defines our path
From the day we enter this earth,
Painting our way
Through streets
Through space
Through time
Through love and through hate,
We escape
With imagination.

In math, we learned about exponential graphs. This is what today was like:

"Sure, the straight-A students might get nice jobs, but it's going to be all the C students that change the world." -my favorite teacher and mentor

Tuesday Tellings, week 6

Just got back from the Wale concert. Fuckin' good.



Baby, know it gets no better than this
It's like sunshine on a rainy day
It's like a high, could you take me away?
Take me away, away, it's a beautiful bliss.

My secret is... it scared me to tell you how I felt today. But I did it anyway. I hope that's okay.

Beautiful bliss

Today was just.... awesome.

Everything went the way it was supposed to.
But not necessarily the way I expected it to.

I'm going to be kind of busy but I will try and fit in as much writing as I can before I leave for New Orleans on Saturday.

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." -Aesop

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." -Unknown

Thank you for brightening my day, again.

I've been on the brink, so

Hey, you.
Yeah, you.
You made my whole day better.
So thanks.

"Star-crossed"

Waiting, missing

Inhibitions, gone.
Happy 4-month birthday, blog!

If it's not okay, it's not over

You're better than the best

I'm lucky just to linger in your light

People should smile more

I felt like this:

and this:

oh, and this:

TODAY WAS FUCKIN' AWESOME

All I gotta do is get my brain on track

"If it works, it works. What's the point in trying to fix it? You might end up changing something that's not meant to be changed."

How can one person
See so much pain,
So much hatred,
And still stand tall?
It's like
Watching someone
Die slowly,
Deteriorating until they give up
And let go
Of that last breath,
Releasing from that rope
That was burning their flesh.
Sometimes they can fight through it, though,
And break past every barrier,
Every obstacle,
Every "there's no way you could do that."
And they can see the sun
Behind the clouds
The clear sky
Past the rain.
They hold their own even after
Hearing everyone's protests,
And they stand tall on their own feet
Even after being shoved over.
They're not looking for forgiveness,
Just seeking understanding
And searching for a resolution.
Are you going to sit there
And let others define you?
Who are you, anyway?
Stand for what you know,
For what you believe.
Only then will you find yourself.

"I find peace in artistic living."
Epitome of how I feel: right here.

Tuesday Tellings, week 5

N-n-nothin' on you, baby.

We wandered all over the town
With no such destination,
Rainy rooftops and
Laughing out the open windows
As wind stung our cheeks,
As people turned to stare.
We were young,
But your car smelled like cigarettes
And the leather was brown, who knew?
Hell, it was dark
And your kisses tasted like
Uncooked s'mores
And the liquor that washed it down
While leaving us thirsting for more.
More of what,
We have yet to figure out,
The path lies exorbitantly empty.

Yeah, I know you liked that word.
My secret is that I'm afraid it will happen too quickly for me to appreciate it.

You make me feel like this

Oblivion

Obliterate

Obstacle

Omnipotent

Secrets

Ferosh and Ridicule

This weekend was way too short for how long the week felt. But I watched WAY TOO MUCH basketball today. And I ate way too many peanut butter patties. It should be illegal.

I fell blindly,
And I guessed and I guessed and I guessed

Until I thought I got it right.

I still don't know for sure,

But your kisses

Leave me dizzy,

Forgetting about everything else -

Even the cold air

Stinging my bare legs

As I walked away,
Even the pains

Of what was then yesterday,
The tears that fell

Now faded in my memory -

All because of a kiss.

I didn't know you had that much power.

Was what I just wrote the truth? Hell if I know.

Heel, toe, heel, toe,

Her shoes tauntingly click

And echo in the hallway.

Little girl, you're fooling no one.

And why are you dressed up

When there's no one to impress?

Aren't your fancy leggings

And high waisted skirts just a waste?

Your hair looks dumb anyway,

And I bet you are tired

Because you spent the whole night fighting.

Fighting who, I don't know,

But you're always against something.

You're lost, but somehow you know exactly where you're going. Anything can be anything you want it to be if you try hard enough.

Everyone has a little badass in them.

How you like me now?

Let it be, let it be

Things change.
I guess I got what I wished for.

Mmmhm

Yupp. Good day.

You're the equivalent of a fluffy cloud

Loooong day. At least tomorrow's Friday. Blah.

I've either torn or pulled this muscle. The red one. Super duper!
Oh well. Stretching and icing, stretching and icing.

I don't have much writing for you today, just two short poems, so I found some newspaper headlines that might make you laugh. I chose four. Four is a cool number.
-"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say"
-"War Dims Hope For Peace"
-"Include Your Children When Baking Cookies"
-"Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax"

In this beautiful bliss,
Only you are illuminated,
And nothing else matters
Because you have heard
Every part of my story,
And it lies in your hands.
Even just a hello
Turns my whole day around.

Wasted words and
Twisted lies
Haunt me like
Ghosts who know
Just the right time
When to come back
And tease me,
Reminding me of those demons
I have chosen to put behind.
Somehow they make me stronger,
Among your neglected promises
And spun tales
That ended up tangled,
And your crafted ideas
Intended to sting, and your
Wasted words and
Twisted lies.

Isn't this awfully ironic? I think so.
But I love this.

Life is better now that I've found you

Hello. Today is a holiday. It kinda felt like one.
Two more days of soccer. Two days too many.
Somehow I'm writing again - god bless.

Twinkling, tickling
Lights and stars
Alter the night, blurring,
Like the foreign words you slur.
God only knows
What language you were speaking,
But our inhibitions were gone
And just the thought
That we could go anywhere,
Do anything,
Turn around and never look back
Made our hearts race
More than the booze did.
Your breath smelled like shit,
But it's okay.
I craved your kisses
At every red light -
Or was that just the car in front of us?
Our hands clumsily fit together,
Interlocking fingers fumbling,
And yet it felt like
They were made for each other.
It was windy as hell,
But it kept you alert
As I drifted off
In your arms.

Oh it's better.

Tuesday Tellings, week 4

Irony.
Here's my secret: I'm afraid I'll never know what I want.
I'm just going to leave it at that. Wonder away.

But what's ironic is whatever formation of words that fell out of my brain into a form of a poem today just happened to be about wanting. That does not necessarily mean this is what I want though.

All I want to do
Is step in fresh puddles,
Ruining new shoes
With life, water from the sky.
All I want to do
Is know you will be there,
And you will listen
And you will tell me everything.
All I want to do
Is bum around
And write and listen to music
For the rest of my life.
All I want to do
Is eat at cheap diners
At one in the morning -
None of that fancy food.
All I want to do
Is write down
Everything that happens
Along the way.
All I want to do
Is accomplish this with you.


He loves her definitely maybe.

My life would suck without [all of] you

You probably know me well enough by now to know I like the little things.
Today got progressively better, mostly thanks to those people who helped me out yesterday.
I made a (certainly not finished) list of things that could make anyone's day.
1) Cereal - who doesn't love some good Apple Jacks?
2) A book - you could change their life or perspective forever, or you could just save them from boredom at some point... unless it's ungodly boring.
3) Advice/reassurance
4) A high five
5) A hug - arms around you just feel secure.
6) A kiss

Life is built on a lot of things.
Where would you be without a best friend
Or a sister who finishes your sentences?
But at the same time,
Where would you be without strangers you drive by every day,
Foreign faces in any given place.
Where would you be without those places you love,
Where you feel at home?
But where would you be without the unknown,
The middle of nowhere,
Lost in a sea of skyscrapers?
Where would you be without sunshine,
Without raindrops?
Without music,
Without silence?
Without stress,
Without relaxation?
Nothing would be defined.
Everything would be a blur, unclear.
A mixed message.
You have taught me to be patient,
And you have shown me being impatient
Can bring you what you want.
You have understood the importance of writing,
But you have given me moments
Where thought-out words would fail.
You have let me see that waiting for something
Helps make it even better when it actually happens.

I LOVE SUNFLOWERS

Whew

Today was a hard, hard day.
But I talked to good people.
And they helped me.
I'll get there eventually.

"No matter where you go in life, recognize how much you've been given. Never forget those whom you owe your best to in this world."

Unique

"When you're happy,

the whole world's New York."

I can see the stars even through the clouds

afeoijwgjawe'gow
I'll update this later.
Looooong night.
Good night.

And with that, he gets the century

Happy 100th post! For all of you that read this - whether you just started reading it, have been reading it since the very beginning, or jumped in somewhere in the middle - thank you. My blog has helped me do a lot, change a lot, be a lot. And if no one read it, I don't think I would've kept writing.

On that note (sort of), very few people know how to make my day. Sure, I have a lot of good days. But I've noticed quite the pattern. So thank you to those people too.

I realize I haven't written a real poem in a while. I'm going to start searching, though; collecting ideas and such until I have something presentable. You won't be disappointed.

Today I learned how to play golf. It was quite the adventure. Those people know how to make my day as well.

This week has been excellent; and it's showed me I need to keep doing what I'm doing.

Mann tere hi kaaran paagal hai, o chhore,

More mann mein thi jo baat chhupi,

Aayi hai jabaan par.

I've missed you.

Blue violet

Huh. So I was beginning to feel guilty for not really writing anything recently. Just kinda... thoughts. Then I realized; I write about my thoughts. People read my blog to read my writing.

So what's the difference if I just tell you?

Today I feel blue violet. That in-between Crayola color, not to be mistaken with violet blue.

I think purple has two sides; that light, warm lilac color, and the dark, aggressive plum color.

But at the same time blue is always mellow, no matter what shade.
Blue violet - interpret it the way you want. But that's how today was.

Being impatient is difficult.
But I'll wait if I need to.

Tuesday Tellings, week 3

Well here's my secret: today I told someone all of my secrets.
All. 100%. Completely. It's out.
And I couldn't be happier.

I'M AWESOME

Better wear your cape cause they bringin that kryptonite

3 pages.
Front and back.

Tomorrow.

Now or never.

I dunno

Concrete jungle

Writing today....?

Coffee shop love story

She walked by,

Her jeans a little too tight

And her sugary iced tea

Was as red as her cheap

Two dollar drugstore lipstick.

Wearing earth tones and indie music

Blasting from

Oversize headphones

As her tiny feet in too-large shoes carried her forward

And past the man

Scribbling away at his soul -

A mere sketch pad

Containing interpretations of

His visions.

Her protruding hip bone bumped into his chair,

Altering his vision,

And their eyes met

Just for a second,

And they connected.

Damn, I could have watched this story unfold

Just for that second,

Had they not called out

Grande skinny vanilla latte

And had I not been craving,

Aching for that caffeine

That drove me away from this tale

Of two strangers

Creating a coffee shop love story.

Love it

These little town blues, they are melting away

Mmm mmm mmm I'm home again

And it's never felt better

Oh my, feels just like I don't try

Looks so good I might die

Cryptically impulsive

I followed what I thought was right.

And guess what?

I was right.

"Driving South to North Carolina"

Who you are isn't who you used to be

Someone once told me

"Age makes very little difference in friendships -

It tends to come down to maturity levels."

Suddenly I am awakened to

The raw truth

Of it all

In the best possible way.

I say do it for the story,

But that doesn't mean

Get rid of people in your life.

Tell them how you truly feel -

If they are meant to be there,

They will accept it.

Shit happens for a reason;

You sleep because you are tired,

You eat because you are hungry.

There is a reason for everything.

Do not spend your life questioning why,

Just go ahead and do it.

I wasn't sure whether to make this a poem or just a plain ol' entry. I found this song today. I love it, but it's not how I feel.

Today has been truly great. Thank you - you all know who you are.

Tuesday Tellings, week 2

Today is secret day. Again. I've thought about this one for a really long time, and this is my first time just putting it out there.

Frank Warren updates his blog every Sunday, and last week I found a secret that stuck with me. It read, "I guess I'm the opposite of suicidal... I feel so dead, and I want to be ALIVE."

The secret for today is my own version of that; I guess I'm the opposite of depressed... I feel so happy, and I want to be sad.

That may sound weird the first time you read it, but try relating it back to expectations. I put myself out there as a happy person, so whenever I'm anything less than that, people think there's something wrong with me - overtime, I have changed so that being sad is... wrong. Now I feel as though I need excuses upon excuses as to how I carry myself every day. Some people might read this and think how strange it must be to want to feel sad. But really, to me it comes as a relief.

Think whatever you want.

That's my secret.

Save face

Found Poetry

Gray's Anatomy - The Brain

They receive branches
Eight to twelve in number on each side

Divided into two sets; the superficial and the deep veins

Confined chiefly to the frontal bone

They pass forward and inward toward the great longitudinal fissure

The veins are confined to the particular bones

Occupy, superior, and interior.

Natural Science - Blushing

Why do we try to hide it?

The loss of ability to feel pain is an invitation to all sorts of disasters

For those who believe

It is hard to see the link,

Though we me feel shame before ourselves.

We are to one another, especially, when face-to-face, eye-to-eye

Here are some explosive questions

How is the stare of a two-year-old different?

It seems very difficult to say.

The attention of others, both wanted and unwanted

Is the search for a selective advantage.

The attention one was hoping to avoid -

The bearing of the neck by the wolf defeated in a fight.

It is indeed a confession.

To blush is to save face.

Beauty, reputation, and honor.