05 December 2009

We both know I could think myself dizzy

One day we're running so fast,
You're grasping my hand hard enough
For me to feel your quickening heartbeat.
And laughter escapes us,
Like water sneaking through crevasses in your fingers.
The next day I am broken,
Hot tears fall, so sick of you.
Unable to make up my mind,
I step forward before I can change my decision,
Before I am able to return.
Every day you put a smile on my face,
But every day you tear me apart.

Huh.
Thoughts on yesterday:

I am one in fifty-five, of seventeen hundred. My hands were shaking, my voice so obviously nervous. But when I told them my secret, approaching the menacing microphone cautiously with thirty-four hundred eyes looking at me, anticipating my words, they escaped me before I could second-guess myself. Instead of hearing apologies like I thought I would, I received thank-yous. It was refreshing.
I let go.
I am free.

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