See you in the new decade.
What a year it was.
31 December 2009
30 December 2009
Home?
AHHHHH winter camp. So fucking good. In fact, good doesn't even begin to describe it. It was fantastic, going home with friends and meeting new people and reconnecting with old acquaintances. Nothing brings me more happiness than being home. And now I'm.... home?
I don't really know where I am. But at the same time, I've never been more self-aware.
"Run," you whisper.
I can feel your breath on my ear,
Visualizing a cloud of vapor
Escaping your lips.
You grab my hand,
And I can hear our feet crunching through
Untouched snow,
Passing by twigs,
Brushing off cuts on our flushed cheeks.
You take my other hand,
Guiding me and
Allowing me to feel the
Obstacle
Ahead, climbing under wires
Binding posts together,
Warning me of trees ahead.
A laugh of freedom bursts
From your heart,
For we have the world
To ourselves,
But I cannot see.
Through my closed eyelids
I am able to make out a few
Dark shapes,
But nothing more.
I don't really know where I am. But at the same time, I've never been more self-aware.
"Run," you whisper.I can feel your breath on my ear,
Visualizing a cloud of vapor
Escaping your lips.
You grab my hand,
And I can hear our feet crunching through
Untouched snow,
Passing by twigs,
Brushing off cuts on our flushed cheeks.
You take my other hand,
Guiding me and
Allowing me to feel the
Obstacle
Ahead, climbing under wires
Binding posts together,
Warning me of trees ahead.
A laugh of freedom bursts
From your heart,
For we have the world
To ourselves,
But I cannot see.
Through my closed eyelids
I am able to make out a few
Dark shapes,
But nothing more.
26 December 2009
Get out the way, let's Casper drive.
11 more things you don't know about me:
-I'm actually quite good at beatboxing.
-I acted for eight years.
-It sounds depressing, but crying is one of my favorite things to do. It doesn't happen often, but I think it's very relieving.
-I'm surprisingly flexible.
-I really like telling people about myself. Narcissistic? Maybe.
-One of the most frequently asked questions I get is "how's Pioneer?"
-Dogs absolutely petrify me.
-I'm cinematically retarded.
-I'm scared that the only thing I'm truly good at is the same thing my mom does for a living.
-I know every single word to Ludacris' "Pimpin' All Over The World."
-I think I could fall in love with any man who would bring me blue tulips. Or sunflowers.
Your words sink through my mind,
Like a marker's ink bleeding through paper,
Coming out backwards and difficult to read.
It's killing me
Whether or not I should forgive you,
But I can't start a relationship with doubts.
A piercing pain in my head,
It's almost as if you can't leave,
Forever treading through
My maze of thoughts.
Each song I hear reminding of us,
But I tore up your stupid letters,
Burned them as I let go of memories.
Trying to erase you.
I hope you feel broken, too.
-I'm actually quite good at beatboxing.
-I acted for eight years.
-It sounds depressing, but crying is one of my favorite things to do. It doesn't happen often, but I think it's very relieving.
-I'm surprisingly flexible.
-I really like telling people about myself. Narcissistic? Maybe.
-One of the most frequently asked questions I get is "how's Pioneer?"
-Dogs absolutely petrify me.
-I'm cinematically retarded.
-I'm scared that the only thing I'm truly good at is the same thing my mom does for a living.
-I know every single word to Ludacris' "Pimpin' All Over The World."
-I think I could fall in love with any man who would bring me blue tulips. Or sunflowers.
Your words sink through my mind,
Like a marker's ink bleeding through paper,
Coming out backwards and difficult to read.
It's killing me
Whether or not I should forgive you,
But I can't start a relationship with doubts.
A piercing pain in my head,
It's almost as if you can't leave,
Forever treading through
My maze of thoughts.
Each song I hear reminding of us,
But I tore up your stupid letters,
Burned them as I let go of memories.
Trying to erase you.
I hope you feel broken, too.
Oh
My
God.
I go home tomorrow.
24 December 2009
I was so crazy about you, I didn't mind.
It's Christmas Eve... I hope you weren't expecting me to write anything special.
Tomorrow perhaps?
Tomorrow perhaps?
23 December 2009
Stop the car and let's slow dance.
I believe you are the night sky above you.
The stars behind
Are still part of you,
Avoidable unless you turn back.
The stars ahead
Are visible constellations,
A collage where you can piece together
And picture your future.
The stars above
Represent the now,
Difficult to notice if you aren't looking.
Pick out constellations and tell your own story.
Shape images in the light,
And let others interpret it in their own way.
A flaw here,
A disconnected path there.
But in the end it's only pieces
That make your journey,
Not where you are in the end.
What's on my mind? Campcampcampcampcampcampcamp.
The stars behind
Are still part of you,
Avoidable unless you turn back.
The stars ahead
Are visible constellations,
A collage where you can piece together
And picture your future.
The stars above
Represent the now,
Difficult to notice if you aren't looking.
Pick out constellations and tell your own story.
Shape images in the light,
And let others interpret it in their own way.
A flaw here,
A disconnected path there.
But in the end it's only pieces
That make your journey,
Not where you are in the end.
What's on my mind? Campcampcampcampcampcampcamp.
22 December 2009
I'm well seasoned, if you couldn't tell.
I like how you know when I'm super happy so you can come in and ruin it.
Maybe all we want is a place to stay.
Perhaps we don't wanna live on streets no more.
Save us from these night demons
Lurking under streetlights,
And disappearing as soon as you see them.
Phone screens shine, remind us of family
And the home we have left behind.
Pennies plunk into our mugs,
Spare change in strangers' pockets.
Have you ever thought about running away,
Abandoning your seemingly imperfect life
And running to the streets where we live?
Well it's a dark world out here;
There's places to hide,
But no place to love
And no place to return.
Save me from living minimally,
My ribs jutting out,
Eyes hallow,
Greasy hair tickling my frozen eyelashes,
Thawing in warm clouds of my own breath.
Huh. I don't even know what I wrote. It all just kinda came out.
Flames dance among the kindling.
Voices carry for yards across the water.
The leaves of the highest branches whisper to each other,
Spinning tales of the ghosts of the forest,
Mattimuro's spirit ever-present,
Crawling through your veins at night,
Carried on the wind in the day.
Horse hooves tattooed in the mud.
Blaring beats of Daft Punk pulse from the infamous speakers.
Sike, legit, totes, are you joking me!?
Syrup cascades down a Cree's stack of golden pancakes,
And a tired bell chimes the end of another activity.
164 days since I have seen my favorite people in the world,
5 days until I see my home's soil again, and
186 days until another legacy begins.
Maybe all we want is a place to stay.
Perhaps we don't wanna live on streets no more.
Save us from these night demons
Lurking under streetlights,
And disappearing as soon as you see them.
Phone screens shine, remind us of family
And the home we have left behind.
Pennies plunk into our mugs,
Spare change in strangers' pockets.
Have you ever thought about running away,
Abandoning your seemingly imperfect life
And running to the streets where we live?
Well it's a dark world out here;
There's places to hide,
But no place to love
And no place to return.
Save me from living minimally,
My ribs jutting out,
Eyes hallow,
Greasy hair tickling my frozen eyelashes,
Thawing in warm clouds of my own breath.
Huh. I don't even know what I wrote. It all just kinda came out.
Flames dance among the kindling.
Voices carry for yards across the water.
The leaves of the highest branches whisper to each other,
Spinning tales of the ghosts of the forest,
Mattimuro's spirit ever-present,
Crawling through your veins at night,
Carried on the wind in the day.
Horse hooves tattooed in the mud.
Blaring beats of Daft Punk pulse from the infamous speakers.
Sike, legit, totes, are you joking me!?
Syrup cascades down a Cree's stack of golden pancakes,
And a tired bell chimes the end of another activity.
164 days since I have seen my favorite people in the world,
5 days until I see my home's soil again, and
186 days until another legacy begins.
21 December 2009
15 things you don't know about me.
Cheese makes me gag.
I think eyelashes are the coolest things EVER.
I don't think there is anything better than the smell of gasoline when I fill up on the way to Avon.
I won't eat a salad that has dressing on it.
Sometimes I'll take someone else's coffee at Starbucks just to try something new.
I broke my pinky in seventh grade and I'm extremely self conscious about it.
A couple of weeks ago, I met my hero, and I still can't get over that it actually happened.
All of my 11:11 wishes have come true.
Whenever I walk home from the Y, I never walk on the sidewalk on the last street.
If I text you first, I like you.
My closet is color-coordinated.
Someday I'm going to withdraw $3000 from the bank and hand out money to people who look like they need it.
The best thing that anyone could tell me or has told me is that I have inspired them in some way.
This blog terrifies me because I don't know who's reading it or what they think, and I'm dying to know.
I consider myself to be a really awkward person.
20 December 2009
I wanna take you out tonight, I wanna make you feel alright.
I love the people that I talk to. Does that sound stupid?
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/6ezJa9/www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine/ ....hahaha
DAMN I love diet Snapple peach tea. Try it some time.
How I crave the rush around me,
The sand threatening me to move my feet,
But I can handle the burns.
I want to be able to match the pace
Of my feet on the sand
With the beat of my music
At six in the morning,
On the beach with no one in sight,
Where I could run into infinity
And nothing to stop me,
Because I certainly won't stop myself,
Only pausing to run into the embrace
Of the waves,
Coating me in water,
Then releasing itself, returning to the ocean,
The combination of the
Saltwater
And sweat on the back of my neck
Rushing back into the water.
I am free once again.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/6ezJa9/www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine/ ....hahaha
DAMN I love diet Snapple peach tea. Try it some time.
How I crave the rush around me,
The sand threatening me to move my feet,
But I can handle the burns.
I want to be able to match the pace
Of my feet on the sand
With the beat of my music
At six in the morning,
On the beach with no one in sight,
Where I could run into infinity
And nothing to stop me,
Because I certainly won't stop myself,
Only pausing to run into the embrace
Of the waves,
Coating me in water,
Then releasing itself, returning to the ocean,
The combination of the
Saltwater
And sweat on the back of my neck
Rushing back into the water.
I am free once again.
19 December 2009
18 December 2009
Overanalyzation
During finals week, all I listened to was Jack's Mannequin and James Morrison. Now, Sean Paul and Ludacris are playing nonstop. Does that say anything about what time it is? BREAK. My writing's not the best tonight, but hey, I'm just keeping my promises. These are two different poems.
Our fingers brushed for just a second,
And for that moment,
I felt alive.
My heart beating faster every
Time we make eye contact.
You openly ask why I'm staring.
Oh, if only I could tell you how much you mean to me,
And how often I think about you.
From my chem exam to walking home,
I can't get you out of my head.
Nothing will stop me
From replaying that touch,
But I can't avoid the question forever.
So I'll ask you now...
Confession.
One word.
Three syllables.
Ten letters.
And a million meanings.
To tell or not to tell,
But is that the question?
Or are you the question.
Oh, my mind can't take it anymore.
Am I torn between two sides,
Or am I convincing myself
Not to love you.
Maybe the question is
Have I fallen for you?
Do I wanted to admit I've fallen for you?
Only time will tell,
So I will sit and watch the clock.
Our fingers brushed for just a second,
And for that moment,
I felt alive.
My heart beating faster every
Time we make eye contact.
You openly ask why I'm staring.
Oh, if only I could tell you how much you mean to me,
And how often I think about you.
From my chem exam to walking home,
I can't get you out of my head.
Nothing will stop me
From replaying that touch,
But I can't avoid the question forever.
So I'll ask you now...
Confession.
One word.
Three syllables.
Ten letters.
And a million meanings.
To tell or not to tell,
But is that the question?
Or are you the question.
Oh, my mind can't take it anymore.
Am I torn between two sides,
Or am I convincing myself
Not to love you.
Maybe the question is
Have I fallen for you?
Do I wanted to admit I've fallen for you?
Only time will tell,
So I will sit and watch the clock.
17 December 2009
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier.
Freeeeeeeedom. Today I wrote about running. Running is absolutely an escape from me. Some people have art, where they start sketching or painting and suddenly an hour goes by. Writing and running do both of those for me. I tried my best to let you experience it too.
And I began to run
Because I wanted to run.
Feet taking turns on the pavement,
Breath out of sync.
For I am free to go
Wherever I want to go.
Wind rushing past my ears,
Whispering messages of nature,
Passing on tales of the trees
That they would only know.
I began to run
Because I felt like running.
I act upon impulses,
The danger of judgement slipping by me.
Leaves, grass, houses,
All rushing by
In a combination of colors,
An incomprehensible blur.
Life has too many details,
So I just run by them.
I began to run
Because something told me to run.
Not someone behind me,
But something ahead of me.
My feet form beats and rhythms
That I match words to
Maybe nonsense, you think,
But it makes perfect sense to me.
The cold may restrict me,
However, I will break past it,
Its pain only acting as motivation.
I began to run
Because I wanted to run.
Today I painted my nails. I rarely do, because it's a lot to fuss with. But I really like them.
I was playing with my camera and I had an idea. I don't really like the fact that people take lots of pictures of themselves, especially in the mirror. But I thought it could create some different lighting and stuff (I'm a nerd, I know). And this is how it turned out.
I wish life could be a little more like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCXTnlDD-yU
And I began to run
Because I wanted to run.
Feet taking turns on the pavement,
Breath out of sync.
For I am free to go
Wherever I want to go.
Wind rushing past my ears,
Whispering messages of nature,
Passing on tales of the trees
That they would only know.
I began to run
Because I felt like running.
I act upon impulses,
The danger of judgement slipping by me.
Leaves, grass, houses,
All rushing by
In a combination of colors,
An incomprehensible blur.
Life has too many details,
So I just run by them.
I began to run
Because something told me to run.
Not someone behind me,
But something ahead of me.
My feet form beats and rhythms
That I match words to
Maybe nonsense, you think,
But it makes perfect sense to me.
The cold may restrict me,
However, I will break past it,
Its pain only acting as motivation.
I began to run
Because I wanted to run.
Today I painted my nails. I rarely do, because it's a lot to fuss with. But I really like them.
I was playing with my camera and I had an idea. I don't really like the fact that people take lots of pictures of themselves, especially in the mirror. But I thought it could create some different lighting and stuff (I'm a nerd, I know). And this is how it turned out.I wish life could be a little more like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCXTnlDD-yU
16 December 2009
I can feel the end is near
I hate how exams always have you thinking about what is coming next, not what is happening now.
I want to be present, I want to feel present!
15 December 2009
The verdict
Well. I did in fact die. However, I have a goooood feelin' about tomorrow.
Is it bad to say that I am more excited about break coming up because I'll have time to write, rather than time to relax? I guess to me they're kind of the same thing. But still.
Besides dying today, I had a wonderful and amusing outing to Panera today... sort of. But I burned my tongue on a grande vanilla latte. It was worth it.
So I'm entering this statewide poetry contest hosted by Albion college, and I'm allowed to send in three poems. Any suggestions? Even if you don't follow my blog, text me or something. Much appreciated.
Love love love to you all.
Who is this guy? I don't know. But I'm feeling optimistic.
Is it bad to say that I am more excited about break coming up because I'll have time to write, rather than time to relax? I guess to me they're kind of the same thing. But still.
Besides dying today, I had a wonderful and amusing outing to Panera today... sort of. But I burned my tongue on a grande vanilla latte. It was worth it.
So I'm entering this statewide poetry contest hosted by Albion college, and I'm allowed to send in three poems. Any suggestions? Even if you don't follow my blog, text me or something. Much appreciated.
Love love love to you all.Who is this guy? I don't know. But I'm feeling optimistic.
14 December 2009
12 December 2009
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